But instead of going all philosophical again I'll give you my back of the hand theme of the week and then go into other far more interesting things.
BOTHTOTW: Give it all your strength, all your power, all your love, give it everything you've got. Remember, what is hard to endure will be sweet to recall.
So far in college, I have come to learn many things of life. But here are some of the more innovative and interesting
1. pooping with a headlamp
2. the camping chair
3. dollar store trail mix
4. the loud roommate
5. survival without a TV
6. the new meaning of sunrise
7. the roommate oath
8. lesbians and thier insecurities
9. bus rides
10. the importance of being humble, or at least acting like it
11. the importance of being an asshole
12. making a name for yourself, do something extraordinary, defy stereotypes
1. Split 3 bathrooms between 12 girls. What happens? They divide into A. I want a big bathroom where I can have everything near me, just like at home. B. I want a smaller bathroom so I don't look like a bitch, but I am one, so I'll have all the extra air fresheners, towels folded, and extra shower curtain installed. And C. The kids who plainly don't give a shit (well maybe they give more shit being the subject of bathrooms). Anyone, I'm designanted to the infested fortress that is the left bathroom. And since the light has gone out I have resorted to my lovely and faithful headlamp. I'll sum it up. I now have to poop in the dark with a headlamp on.
2. I have you to vomit in college due to drinking. I'm proud of that, myself, understanding my limits (considering my limit of 3 Mike's in about 90 min will constitute my speech starting to slur but my grammar is still impecable. You can never tell if im drunk texting you, sadly. Conversational skills I assumed would decrease.
Anyway, The tuesday of finals week for fall semester was the day after our dining hall's lovely 11pm extra dinner. Where I ate far too much. I woke up at 3am in a controlled panic. Got my camping chair and blanket and proceeded to the bathroom. 8:00am final, up until 5. And no, red peppers do not digest easily.
3. Dollar store trail mix is delicious. However I hate raisins. While on spring break and extrememly board I spent a few of my time separating those wrinkled little bastards into a cup. Worth it.
4. My roommate must be deaf, because when she wakes up, or when her boyfriend has to wake up for ROTC at 5:30, I wake up to. Fuck you sarah. Thanks for a great year.
5. While we're on the topic of my splendid roommate let me share about the TV. It's not in our room anymore. And no april fools day prank could bring it back. The conceited piece of crap, how the hell am I supposed to watch jeopardy in solitude now? No more falling asleep to ESPN or the weather channel or discovery, history, you name it.
6. The sunrise can either be the start of a glorious day, or the end of a well, what ever you wish to call it - night. Recently, I awoke at 5am, on my own free will, for a full day field hockey tournament and caught glimpse of a beautfiul sunrise. When leaving my building, pathetic students struggled back to their beds and wished they never had to wake up.
7. When in doubt, talk it out. Write a roommate oath so that your TV isn't moved and you aren't sexiled when your sister is visiting.
Here's the roommate oath currently for '11-'12
By living in this room I, _______ agree to hereby follow all of the listed decrees of the roommate oath. The purpose of the oath is to address potentially caustic issues and harmful situations that have befallen countless others. If during the year an unlisted issue arises, it must be agreed upon by all roommate parties to then be amended to the oath.
1) Thou shall respect thy roommate.
2) Thou shall not become romantically involved with the roommate
A.) This includes definitional “hookups”, kissing with the further intentions, making others jealous, uncomfortable, or turned on.
A.) This includes definitional “hookups”, kissing with the further intentions, making others jealous, uncomfortable, or turned on.
3) Thou shall not become romantically involved with any of the roommate’s previous OR current hookups.
A.) Full permission must be granted by the second party
B.) Consequences such as social awkwardness should be taken into account
C.) Discretion should still be taken regarding the feelings of all parties involved, which should amount to the least amount of crying.
D.) If crying occurs more than once, then further discussion between roommates must be had, which may or may not include outsider advice.
A.) Full permission must be granted by the second party
B.) Consequences such as social awkwardness should be taken into account
C.) Discretion should still be taken regarding the feelings of all parties involved, which should amount to the least amount of crying.
D.) If crying occurs more than once, then further discussion between roommates must be had, which may or may not include outsider advice.
4) Thou shall give both verbal notice and symbolic notice when “sexiling” the other.
A.) No sexiling of any type shall occur if the other party’s friends or family is staying the night. That’s disrespectful, and as my Aunt Nancy would say, bullshit.
B.) if necessary to enter despite being warned, the party being sexiled shall give a warning knock of long-short-short-long and then wait till either 1. A reply from the roommate 2. Adequate time has been given, and then they may enter despite any and all awkwardness that can ensue.
A.) No sexiling of any type shall occur if the other party’s friends or family is staying the night. That’s disrespectful, and as my Aunt Nancy would say, bullshit.
B.) if necessary to enter despite being warned, the party being sexiled shall give a warning knock of long-short-short-long and then wait till either 1. A reply from the roommate 2. Adequate time has been given, and then they may enter despite any and all awkwardness that can ensue.
5) Thou shall give fair and adequate warning to the movement of any major or important pieces of furniture
A.) Moving the TV to another room without permission (except during pranks) is grounds for punishment equivalent to a slice of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.
A.) Moving the TV to another room without permission (except during pranks) is grounds for punishment equivalent to a slice of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory.
6) Thou shall be civil when deciding what to watch on TV. If the two parties cannot reach a decision:
A.) Research shall be taken to see if both shows can be viewed at another time whether or TV, internet, or imagination
B.) If a program cannot be viewed whether time sensitive or not by other means then that program shall be viewed currently
C. If both shows can be viewed at alternative times then a single round of “rock-paper-scissors” shall be played, the winner determining what show will be watched.
A.) Research shall be taken to see if both shows can be viewed at another time whether or TV, internet, or imagination
B.) If a program cannot be viewed whether time sensitive or not by other means then that program shall be viewed currently
C. If both shows can be viewed at alternative times then a single round of “rock-paper-scissors” shall be played, the winner determining what show will be watched.
7) Thou shall be sensitive to the volume and genre of music when played aloud (not through headphones)
A.) When live instrumentation is performed, both parties shall remain sensitive to the amateur skills.
A.) When live instrumentation is performed, both parties shall remain sensitive to the amateur skills.
8) Thou shall attempt to keep the room clean, with extra effort afforded before room inspections, social gatherings, and friend and family visitations.
A.)This includes scent of the room and the limiting of “goalie funk”, and turf pieces.
B.) 2-ply toilet paper is necessary, no exceptions.
A.)This includes scent of the room and the limiting of “goalie funk”, and turf pieces.
B.) 2-ply toilet paper is necessary, no exceptions.
9) Thou shall grant “Alone Time” if absolutely necessary
A.) If for phone call purposes, attempt to make it quick, take it into the bathroom, or use the hallway, common room, hall bathroom, someone else’s room, outside, in a car.
I.) If the phone call occurs while the roommate is asleep, take action immediately
A.) If for phone call purposes, attempt to make it quick, take it into the bathroom, or use the hallway, common room, hall bathroom, someone else’s room, outside, in a car.
I.) If the phone call occurs while the roommate is asleep, take action immediately
A.) Constructive criticism is allowed but should not be mentioned close to bed time
B.) A formidable attempt should be made to keep comments and attitudes positive
C.) If comments are negative they should be aimed at the team’s performance in general or coaching
i edited this post so many times, im sorry im lazy and just now putting it up
I want part two- where is 8 through 12?
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting on my birthday. You really shouldn't have.